Oliver Battershall

The Celebration (1998) 4.5/5
It kind of kicks ass that you got a proper signed certificate if you made a film that fit the requirements of Dogme 95. It adorns the intro here, complete with Vinterberg’s own signature second from the right as one of the founders of the movement (subtle flex?). I’ve maybe never seen another film that the Dogme 95 style fits so perfectly. Its accompanying handheld footage and reliance on diegetic sound make it really feel like a home movie gone wrong, adding to the uniquely awkward sense of humour. The way this film slowly unravels isn’t unlike a murder mystery, it was really satisfying to watch this morbid tale pan out despite how harrowing it is. I saw this on a site called effedupmovies.com. I can respect a site that does what it says on the tin.

Major League (1989) 3.5/5
A heart-warming comedy with a great concept that could’ve been made funnier with a different cast but still managed to make me smile. I could watch a billion more films and reach some kind of nirvana of cinematic cognizance but I’d still get a warm feeling inside at a simple sports underdog story with some heart.

Mallrats (1995) 2.5/5
High up on the list of comedies of this era that haven’t aged the best. Only in the 90s would you have the R-slur in the emotional climax. Much like in Clerks, the comedy gimmick of these losers actually being really verbose gets old pretty quickly. I’m surprised that there’s multiple movies dedicated to Jay and Silent Bob down the line because they weren’t a particular highlight in this, if I hear “Snoochie Boochies” one more time I’ll go insane. Anyway I like Jason Lee and there’s an innate charm to Kevin Smith’s independent filmmaking, but no one in this is likeable and I cracked a smile maybe once? I think if I was around in the 90s I would’ve found the slacker subculture a bit annoying, despite being a reformed one myself!

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) 3.5/5
My least favourite of the (admittedly few) Ghibli films that I’ve watched in full. I think this lacked their usual prowess in world-building and pacing. The action started from minute one and from there things just happened and it all kind of washed over me, I could seldom make much sense of why things were happening or why I should particularly care about the characters. That being said, I’m not completely dead inside and although I prefer the Ghibli films that are more focused on a whimsical adventure I respected what this aimed to do. I really liked the Ohms as a concept and they were part of many beautiful looking scenes amplified by this gorgeous early animation style of theirs. The soundtrack is also great as anyone will tell you.

Death Proof (2007) 3.5/5
I don’t think the last twenty minutes of a movie have ever moved me so much relative to everything that’s come before it? An unfortunate majority of this is just a LOT of exposition (Tarantino for all his strengths does not write great woman-to-woman dialogue), prolonged male gaze sequences with basic characters and a massive lack of cool stunt scenes. But then the second half comes in culminating in that final car chase and I was finally hooked. Suspenseful and completely over-the-top with likeable characters, and Kurt Russell finally comes into his own. Basically what I’d wanted the whole time. I won’t be logging Grindhouse since my autistic desire for rigorous categorisation dictates that double bills don’t count as one distinct feature film but I imagine the cut-down version of this in there was more entertaining.

Eyes Without a Face (1960) 3.5/5
An atmospheric and fairly harrowing horror that could maybe be considered one of the first body-horrors? It’s short but still manages to feel slow and procedural which I think mostly worked to its strength. There were some beautiful shots and a satisfying payoff but I think the eery concept and all the symbolism that comes with it could’ve been explored to its fullest potential a bit more. In the context of its time though, coming a matter of months before Psycho, I have to commend that it’s one of the only horrors of its era to come close to actually scaring me rather than simply relying on a spooky vibe.