Oliver Battershall

The Phoenician Scheme (2025) 4.5/5
Wes Anderson was my first ever favourite director. I was an early teen at the time and the sheer whimsical aura of his films really hit home with me. Maybe because deep down I craved those nuggets of twee beauty and delicate charm as a way to harken back to the innocently simple life I had in primary school. Anyway this is a lowly film review and you, reader, are not my therapist. Over time I still found great pleasure from Anderson’s work but at times his style started to feel a tad rigid or stifling. I watched Asteroid City when it came out and somewhat enjoyed it but was left with the lingering feeling that maybe Wes and I’s love affair was dwindling…UNTIL NOW!!!! I absolutely loved this from start to finish. There’s nothing like watching the opening credits roll for a Wes Anderson film and gradually getting more hyped as the big names keep coming. And from there my excitement never slowed, every character has their flair, their moments. The signature visual style and snappy dialogue seemed the most effortless it’s been from him in so long, perhaps a consequence of Anderson maturing as a filmmaker and not feeling the need to assert himself as much. Thematically it’s really rich and never saccharine, his haters don’t have any excuses this time. Surprised that the general consensus for this isn’t quite as glowing but I don’t care, #WesIsBack. Get it trending.

Dorian Gray (2009) 1.5/5
Bad as a film in its own right but downright insulting as a Dorian Gray adaptation. Fresh off another read (well, a listen this time) of my favourite book, I summoned the courage to see if the most well known of its film adaptations did it justice. I suppose you always set yourself up for bitter disappointment doing that with your favourite book, as any adjustments in the story, the tone or even how you envisioned the characters in your head can be irritating, but this had such an inexcusable amount of all of that that I don’t feel pedantic mentioning it. The wry philosophical quips, the irresistible opulence and the potent homoerotic subtext of the novel are all extremely neglected in favour of cheap horror and drama. The jumbled up plot felt pointless too, the film was long enough to easily accommodate all the key beats from the book that were cut. The one nice thing I can say is Colin Firth really nails the slyness of his character in that first half. We needed a Dorian Gray film from De Palma or Coppola or someone in the 80s/90s, it would’ve completely bombed but I’m sure I’d have enjoyed it a great deal more than this.

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning (2023) 4/5
Got round to watching the last of the MI films I hadn’t seen in time for the new one on Friday. Very good overall as expected but also an exacerbation of the pacing issues of McQuarrie’s recent Mission Impossibles. This franchise at its core should be about understandable stakes and a simple MacGuffin with fun action that speaks for itself. Here there’s so many characters and so much dialogue all dedicated to telling the audience “Tom Cruise has to find something before the bad guys do to save the world”, a message with no need to be told in such a convoluted way. The action in this is some of the best the franchise has to offer and is where McQuarrie and Cruise come into their own, but with it mostly stuffed at the end I was already a bit worn out from the long build-up so couldn’t quite appreciate it as much as I wished. Anyway I know this all sounds very negative but on balance it was still great, I just needed to rant because Vanessa Kirby won’t respond to my DM’s and I wish Brad Bird got more MI films after Ghost Protocol (the best one).

The Promised Land (2023) 4/5
A gripping, gritty tale of pride, revenge, chosen family and morality. There were many satisfying turns in the story, though I would’ve been equally happy to just watch Mads Mikkelsen and Co perform small-scale agriculture in cool period clothing for two hours. The environments are really visually stunning, maybe it’s the Yorkshire blood in me but I find moorland so so beautiful.

Gremlins (1984) 3.5/5
A kind of fantasy-horror that isn’t quite a full-blown comedy or completely for kids but still has a gentle heart, it feels like a recipe for a box office failure but fortunately Spielberg had some magic dust going spare so he and Joe Dante made a bajillion dollars instead. A bit of a tonal hodgepodge but the whole thing meshed together surprisingly well (bar a character casually quipping about the increased suicide rate over the holiday season). You can see why this was one of the films responsible for the introduction of the PG-13 age rating in the USA. Very fun at its peaks, hats off to the prop department because seeing those gremlins in their unique little costumes smoking cigarettes and playing cards in dive bars was brilliant.

Last Flag Flying (2017) 4/5
This is my sixth Linklater film, the fifth of which he also wrote (well, adapted in this case but it counts) and it’s struck me again just how great this guy is at writing compelling dialogue that comes across so outstandingly naturally. There’s always such great lines and moments that feel like they would happen between real people and not characters written up on a whiteboard somewhere. It’s especially apparent here with the three great leading performances from Carrell, Fishburne and Cranston, who all complement each other perfectly like Yin, Yang and…Yong? Such palpable, vulnerable emotion permeates through this story.

A Night in Nude (1993) 4/5
A perfect example of the hidden gems you can get handed when you entrust the Random Movie Roulette letterboxd list with your viewing pleasure as often as I do. This sits at less than 1,000 viewers so I went in with no expectations but I loved this. A tactile, hot and sweaty film with murder and romance to spare. By far my favourite element of the film was the unexpectedly memorable and ambitious shot composition. I loved all the long takes (one of which I timed at over five minutes!) There’s a satisfying understanding of lighting and colour, with great variety to how the camera interacts with characters. This is what really makes the film feel more polished than you’d expect. The array of minor characters are fun and bring authenticity to the film’s seedy urban environment. It’s a miracle I was able to find a decent quality stream. Through legal means of course, officer.