Oliver Battershall

Malignant (2021) 3/5
Until the admittedly very solid third act, this feels a tad hollow and muddled below the flashy CGI and camerawork. This is exemplified by a moment where a body literally falls through the ceiling, Wallis screams in slow-motion with zero emotion behind the eyes (her Gadot-esque blank expressions are a consistent issue in this) and we hear a crap cover of Where Is My Mind for the 5th(?) time. Bad dialogue and a slight unintentionally silly vibe marred some of the otherwise stronger moments, but eventually the mystery comes together well and I felt more enthused by the end.

Spider-Man (2002) 4.5/5
I’d been very excited to get around to this trilogy when I got it on Blu-ray and this was just the start to it that I’d been anticipating. I’m realising that all my favourite superhero movies seem to have at least a few things in common with this vibe-wise, and this feels like the ultimate culmination of that. Elfman goes absolutely beast mode with a sweeping score that was thoroughly enchanting and accentuated the emotional and romantic beats perfectly (with some help from an electrifying Dunst). Amid all the pulpy action I found myself so invested in the old-fashioned trope of the heroic underdog getting the girl, which made that ending so much more moving to me. Can’t wait to check out the second one!

Bad Boys II (2003) 3/5
The Random Movie Roulette being the cruelly enigmatic mistress that it is, threw up a sequel to a movie that I didn’t really care for. I can say almost categorically that whoever you are you probably don’t need to make your action movie two and a half hours long but this comes close to being an exception. (Maybe that’s why I wasn’t that crazy about Heat…I still have to repent for that cinematic sin.) For all his faults Michael Bay clearly knows more about making a film like this engaging throughout its runtime than say, Christopher McQuarrie. There’s lots of variety in the set pieces and environments with plenty of breezy banter to boot, the kind where you don’t really care if it isn’t that funny because you’re having a good enough time.

The Red Spectacles (1987) 4/5
I’m often fond of movies that let the plot take a back seat in favour of just having some guy wander a cityscape full of strange characters after dark. This takes that genre in a pleasantly surreal direction but certainly not the one I was expecting from that opening. It’s also a unique jumping off point to explore little pockets of a dystopian society in what ends up being a really effectively cerebral experience. The desaturated green colour palette, sense of humour and soundtrack gave this the brilliant feel of an early PlayStation advert or cinematic cutscene. A very memorable, completely unpredictable experience that grew and grew on me. Recommended!

Cool World (1992) 3/5
Inevitably lacks the unabashed raunchiness of Bakshi’s debut (I’m yet to see his other work but I’m eager) but is still suitably eccentric and crass. 90’s Brad Pitt is very nice to look at isn’t he. Original song from Bowie in the credits!

Zorba the Greek (1964) 4/5
There was a not insignificant amount of time in my early teens where the theme from Zorba the Greek was one of my favourite songs. The tune is synonymous enough with Greece that I’m sure you’re familiar with it even if you don’t realise it. I loved YouTube videos of flash mobs performing it, there’s an infectious fun to it that makes even a curmudgeon like me want to dance. It took me until now to actually watch the acclaimed film that it’s from. I enjoyed seeing a critique of the oft romanticised Mediterranean way of life, first shown through Anthony Quinn’s Zorba who despite his joyous wisdom and charm is morally flawed, then through the rest of the town’s male populace who make Zorba look saintly by comparison with their vicious misogyny. Lila Kedrova gives my favourite performance of the film in the role of a retired cabaret performer who clings onto her fading memories and youth. Despite her being an object of pity she gets the best out of Zorba without him realising it, their unique compassion is another stark contrast against the cynical society around them who await her death like vultures. It’s nice to see Quinn in a role like this after he played such a horrible piece of work in Fellini’s La Strada, but it certainly feels significant (and deliberate) that he and Basil only briefly lament the evil of the island’s society without truly trying to change it for the sake of the women in their lives. The whole film feels very theatrical in its themes, and is capped off with a brilliantly memorable and understated ending that made the tonal jumps and heavy runtime feel worth it. Hubris and naivety are always bad omens. At the bitter end, when there is nothing else left to do, dance.

Inherent Vice (2014) 3.5/5
I figured I’d better get round to watching PTA’s first Pynchon adaptation in time for One Battle After Another a week on Monday (VERY EXCITED). Mixed feelings here, it dawdles a lot but clearly revels in its own relative lack of direction which I found only somewhat effective. I love a good ensemble cast (who doesn’t?) but I was often having to ask myself, “Who is this again? What does he want? Why is he here?” When all’s said and done though I ended up with an albeit slightly bewildered fondness for this. PTA plus 70’s aesthetics equals a drop dead gorgeous good time, it’s not rocket science. Phoenix is perhaps the only man to ever look good with gnarly mutton chops and no other facial hair.