Oliver Battershall

X-Men: First Class (2011) 4/5
Hell yeah, I had a very good feeling about the Vaughn-meister getting in on X-Men and I was vindicated. A real return to form for the franchise. A great prequel all round, with perfect casting for the characters we’re already familiar with. I thought Magneto’s character was handled and humanised so so well here, his dynamic with Xavier was by far the most interesting it’s been across the series so far. This has definitely made me feel more frustrated at the shortcomings of The Last Stand by comparison, this is how to reinvigorate a franchise!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) 3/5
Not sure how relevant this tangential Wolverine trilogy will be to enjoying my remaining X-Men films but figured I’d give it a go, especially since I’ve heard good things about Logan. This was a decent start, though I think the development of his character that we got in the first two X-Mens was enough to render a full-blown origin story movie a little unnecessary. Without many particularly memorable new characters or much new interesting worldbuilding, much of this feels like the forgettable parts of an X-Men movie bundled together. Despite this, Jackman’s reliable prowess prevents this from becoming truly bad.

The Wolverine (2013) 3.5/5
This trumps Origins in more or less every aspect, from the setting and characters to the combat. It also feels like we learn much more about Logan here despite this not being a prequel. Just really well done with good pacing (I watched the longer director’s cut), cool villains and dynamic action. Jackman has lots to work with here. Excited for Logan, though I’ll save that for after I complete the X-Men films.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) 3/5
Hmm. Had big hopes for this one but I’m a little disappointed. I thought the scenes set in the present day were really odd and completely devoid of necessary buildup and context right from that opening in medias res. The stuff in the past is an improvement on that at least. I liked Quicksilver in particular. Apart from that things were mostly just fine, except I really thought younger Magneto’s writing took a turn for the more one-dimensional after being the best part of First Class. It seems I’ve enjoyed every X-Men/Wolverine film more than their respective averages apart from this one, odd!

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) 2.5/5
Okay this franchise has certainly and unceremoniously lost its steam by now. A franchise that once felt so grounded in tangible human issues now chucked to the shark-jumping modern superhero movie landfill of CGI combat, portals, eyeroll-inducing dialogue, non-descript all-powerful villains and cheap heartstring tugs. This certainly felt like the likely endpoint for the franchise after Days of Future Past’s upping of the ante with multiverses and whatnot. At least, as always, the bits set back at the school and the backstory segments were good. Glad that Cyclops’ character got some overdue attention. Oscar Isaac really needs better roles.

Logan (2017) 4.5/5
Really outstanding. Never seen a superhero movie quite like it. Undoubtedly the pick of the bunch among all the Wolverine/X-Men movies, it’s the perfect end to a saga. Despite the constant bloodshed you feel the weight of each and every new wound. Would still be great even if I didn’t have the 8(!) movies prior to this in my head for context, glad I did though.

Black Narcissus (1947) 3.5/5
I can’t say I connected too much with this melodramatic tale but it’s impossible to overstate just how gorgeous the colours, lighting and shot composition are in this and indeed any Powell and Pressburger movie.

Super Fuzz (1980) 2.5/5
Can’t say I expected this from the esteemed director of gritty Westerns like The Great Silence, but whatever floats his boat. It’s a shame the first hour of this is so dull with awkwardly bad jokes and terrible acting because the third act goes full-on with the silliness and becomes really fun. Besides that this was one of those movies where you have to stop yourself from constantly checking how long’s left.

Wicked: For Good (2025) 1/5
From the get-go I knew this would really grate on me. It’s so saccharine yet so, so, SO self-important in a way that clearly isn’t remotely interested in entertaining kids, rather the regrettably lucrative faction of adults with arrested development that have a chokehold on modern pop culture. There’s dozens of forgettable songs with bizarre chord sequences and key changes. I refuse to believe even the superfans are able to recite more than two of them. What happened to musicals you can sing along to? And the colours…Why on earth would you desaturate such a colourful environment into oblivion? Another way in which potential charm feels completely syringed out. This felt like it lasted forever. Part of me is glad that I had to watch this at work because it’s reminded me to be grateful that most of the bad films I’m used to aren’t THIS bad.

Lawrence of Arabia (1962) 5/5
I thought it was high time I grew a pair and finally got round to watching this. Simply astounding. A majestic, chilling, biblical tapestry, with an intelligent subversion of the racial politics prevalent in cinema at the time. Drop dead gorgeous cinematography and maybe the most triumphant main theme of all time? Peter O’Toole’s piercing blue eyes in technicolour are unforgettable. Pure cinema on the biggest scale and scope.