Oliver Battershall

House (1985) 3.5/5
I don’t think any decade has known how to do comedy-horrors quite like the 80s. Going for genuine atmosphere and scares while getting good laughs without either element downplaying the other. There’s a great marriage of practical effects and CGI in the third act that I enjoyed a lot and that soundtrack really starts to shift into gear. When you add in the ‘monsters as manifestations of trauma’ trope all the elements are there for a film that I’d completely adore, but I think the film’s bonkers-ness leads it down a lot of alleys thematically and plot-wise that aren’t all able to be indulged properly. Also I’d just like to say the main character wears the most diabolical V-neck jumper ever, the collar goes below nipple-level!

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) 4.5/5
My favourite Bond movie yet by a mile. I went into this with tempered expectations due to the runtime and the departure of Connery, but Lazenby just works so well, right from that perfect fourth wall break in the opening scene. He’s got the necessary looks and the charm, and seems to take everything in his stride with a bit less grit than Connery, which maybe would’ve been an issue if this followed the spectacle and action-driven formula of previous installments. But there’s no gadget sprawl, no goofiness, and less constant womanising and action scenes. Bond is disillusioned with the establishment yet dutiful as ever. You’re left with a classy, atmospheric spy-thriller that’s incredibly character-driven and whose charm benefits all the more from it. Yet it all still feels so familiarly Bond due to Lazenby’s sheer wit, I can even excuse him committing a massive infraction of the Geneva convention (in Switzerland no less) in the third act. I’m really REALLY sad this was the only one he did. The Countess is a brilliant character and the best “Bond Girl” yet (though it’s very reductive to call her that) and no more Pleasence as Blofeld is sad but Savalas takes the reigns with aplomb. The action and chase scenes benefit from being used sparingly because they were really well choreographed. And that ending, wow. Wow. A really gutsy movie and one I’ll return to.

The Beast with Five Fingers (1946) 3/5
Coming to terms with just how many pieces of horror media use a severed hand crawling around independently, causing not so much havoc but mild and easily preventable inconvenience. This is the oldest movie I’ve seen this used in, and the effect is really astounding and seamless. That combined with Peter Lorre’s infectiously freaky and sorrowful performance are the respite for what on the whole was a very fluff-filled ninety minutes with a lame mystery element and a bizarre tone shift at the final hurdle.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) 3/5
Where do you possibly go after that bombshell ending to OHMSS? Well apparently you brush it all under the rug and jet off to the Netherlands for Bond’s most light-hearted and comedic caper yet. Immediately I found this a bit grating, I wanted another more grounded installment to give respect to its predecessor and round off Connery’s Bond reign (Mark II) with another From Russia With Love type movie. Unfortunately he wasn’t quite up to scratch here, he’s written well but he’s visibly aged by this point and has lost some of his suave sparkle. There’s yet another Blofeld actor with none of Pleasence’s or Savalas’ aura but at least he’s unceremoniously dispatched early on. The antagonists that take over are two lame proto-Wet Bandit types. The highlight was the crowd-friendly punny dialogue which was written well, and I appreciated that this knew what it was and came in without pretenses, but the rest of this was scarcely memorable. I couldn’t stop hearing that Kanye song in my head whenever the theme tune played.

Live and Let Die (1973) 3.5/5
Here’s my analogy for my immediate feelings about Roger Moore stepping into the 007 role. It’s like seeing your football club replace its cult hero workhorse academy product who’s past his best with a 36-year-old journeyman who’s just looking for his last payday after not renewing the contract of the promising Brazillian wonderkid from last season. So yeah, although Moore grew on me as the film progressed, he felt a bit one-dimensional and wooden to me. Suave but not cool, a little too old-fashioned. It doesn’t help that he’s fourteen years older than Connery was in Dr. No and sixteen older than Lazenby in OHMSS. His predecessors drew you in with their more juvenile and sly charm with the promise of more mature antics down the line, but there’s not quite that same sense of budding excitement here. Anyway, the good stuff. I thought the location and how this tied into the creative new characters, costume design and make-up was a big success and well-utilised. I remember seeing in the behind the scenes stuff from Diamonds Are Forever that they were really trying to Americanise Bond which you can imagine my feelings about, the humour here definitely reflects that continued vision. Although this generally worked it sometimes disrupted the flow of the tension, case in point that speedboat chase scene. But still, vibes-wise this is a very fun entry in the franchise and has a Blaxploitation edge to it that’s much better handled than you’d expect. I’m a real McCartney shill but that theme is so good isn’t it, sure Paul you can have a bit of reggae in there as a treat. Great accompanying credits sequence too. Feeling unsure going forward in the Moore era but everything around him is strong here.

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) 3/5
Mixed feelings here. I’m still getting accustomed to Roger Moore, he has his moments but his prime Connery-esque serial womanising feels too sleazy and discomforting mostly because of his age and poshness. He does at least push a child into a river though which was a laugh. His love interests are pretty poorly written and I promise you no one needed to see any more of J.W. Pepper after the last movie. That theme song is maybe the worst yet too. Buuuut this marked a welcome return to the elaborate slightly camp set design from earlier instalments and Christopher Lee is a great villain.